SOFTWARE DEVELOPEMENT LIFE CYCLE

SLDC_Process
Originally uploaded by UmeshW.

Funny T Shirts

Roles in Heaven

Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches

Fresh Fish

This is an inspirational story given below, check if it works for you.

Fresh Fish

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan
have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population,
fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the
fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return
trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did
not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their
boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed
the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could
taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like
frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed
fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to
fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were
tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste
the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their
fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish,
not sluggish fish.

So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get
fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry,
what would you recommend?


How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put
the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The
shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively
state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of
the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake
and moving? Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us
active and taste better.....

The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you
enjoy a challenge. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you
are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror. You think of
your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions.
You have fun. You are alive!

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Be Happy..Keep Smiling.

Deductions

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,
INDIA.
They decided to forward it to the President of the India as a joke. The
President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy
Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50)
to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The little boy was
delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I
noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and
those donkeys deducted some amount.

Chat with God

One guy had a chat with GOD.
God : Hello. You called me.
Me : Called you? No, who is this?
God : This is God. I heard your prayers. So, I thought I would chat with you.
Me : Sure, I pray. Just makes me feel good. Actually, I am busy now. In the midst of something you know.
God : What are you busy with? Ants are busy, too.
Me : Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me : But I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well, I wanted to help you resolve your fight for time by giving you some clarity. I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me : Tell me, why has life become so complicated?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me : Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because the act of worrying has become a habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty.
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamonds cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials. With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.
Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. Experience is a hard teacher, though. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight, Heart provides insight.
Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction.
God : Success is relative, quantified by others. Satisfaction is absolute, quantified by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead.
Me : Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here? I don't know the answers.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me : How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me : Sometimes my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I'll try to be less fearful.
God : Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Life is wonderful if you know how to live!
Me : Please keep blessing all of us!

Nice One

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

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